I’m sick and tomorrow is Christmas Eve. All I want for Christmas is to be home in my own bed and have someone to take care of me. My new Christmas wish got me thinking a little too much. In 28 days, I’ll be 23 years old and I'm single. In the South, that basically makes me an old maid, scary to say the least. Out of my seven high school best friends, two are married, three are engaged, one will probably be getting a ring soon, one is finishing up grad school, and then there's me. Clearly, I put marriage/serious relationships on the back burner since I ran off to London to live a little. It's a little frustrating at times like right this moment when I want someone to bring me a bowl of homemade potato soup and a hug to make me feel better, but it's not meant to be right now and I didn't figure that out until I came to London. I spent a lot of my college years trying to make things work that weren't meant to be, and I am just now figuring out why.
In Mrs. Gina Gates's third grade Sunday school class, she told us to start praying for a Christian husband. I vividly remember this, and I have been praying for him ever since. My prayers evolved as I grew up, but they are all basically the same: please send me the man that You created just for me. When I was little I usually prayed for my husband to be big and strong just like my Daddy. (My Daddy is superman, just ask me.) Sometimes I pray for my husband just to have a good day or a happy whatever on each holiday or to let him know that I love him and I can't wait to meet him.
When I hit college my prayers changed a bit. Life threw a few curve balls and taught me a lot, but I came out stronger for all of it. I started to pray that God would make me the woman that my husband needs me to be and that He will make my husband the strong Christian leader of our family that I need him to be. God is still working on me; therefore, I am single. Writing those three words makes any girl cringe, but I haven't been ready for anything else. I am fiercely independent and find it extremely difficult to let anyone else make a decision for me. Family decisions can't be made with those characteristics. London has taught me a lot, and I'm getting there.
I have been extremely blessed by being surrounded by positive, healthy marriages. My mom & dad, sister & brother-in-law, grandparents, and so many others around me have shown me the true meaning of love and what devotion to someone really means. Most of my friends have found their missing puzzle piece to share their lives with, but I am patiently waiting.
Being away from my family and every single person that I've known for more than two months has been challenging. Sometimes I think of random, off the wall people that I wouldn't mind a hug from just because they've known me all of my life. This time has taught me how much I truly value and cherish my friends and family around me. It has taught me that I want to find someone to travel the world with instead of braving it alone. We were made for companionship from the beginning of time. I have come to the realization that the husband God sends me will be more than capable of making good decisions for our family and that I will be able to trust his decisions. This time has taught me countless personal lessons, some I don’t even think I realize I’m learning yet. I also realized that I need someone to help control my shopping! Haha. (I'm sure my Dad is ready for me to foot my own shopping adventures.)
My most important discovery has been that I don't need a man to complete me or make my life satisfying, that's between God and me. So many girls are searching for a man to complete them which starts them falling into a spiraling, dissatisfying, lonely abyss. Been there, done that. No one is responsible for your happiness but you. No one is perfect, so everyone is going to disappoint you or upset you at one time or another. If your happiness is hinged on their actions, then you will never be completely happy. Part of growing up and maturing is finding your own happiness, what makes you tick or brings a smile to your face. You can't give away what you don't have, so you'll never be able to make someone else happy if you don't get yourself that way first. You don't want to be a parasite on someone else's happiness. I am happy and complete on my own, and now I have enough joy to give away to others.
That's my side of the happiness bit, but I never forget that even that comes from God. "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man must seek Him in order to find her." If you stop and think about that, it's quite astounding. God's love will make your heart complete and the rest is just icing on the cake. Finding a husband is finding someone to join you on your journey to serve God. Finding a partner is not the end of your seeking journey. When you find each other, you should continually seek God together. I'm working on my relationship with God and believing that the rest will fall into place in His time and not a moment too soon or too late.
The Mississippi wedding season will be here before you know it, and my calendar is filled with save the dates! To all the Southern, handsome young men, no, I didn't bring a date, and yes, I would love to dance!
I challenge you to join me in the lifelong mission to be a Proverbs 31 woman.
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
